Umbrella War
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excerpts from "The Umbrella War!"
Mary Ciotkowski

Mr. Brolly had a shop. He made umbrellas. Brolly umbrellas were very wide. They had short, stumpy handles.

One day, a new shop opened up across the street. The sign said, "BUMBERSHOOT UMBRELLAS". It showed a picture of a very narrow umbrella with a long, skinny handle.

Mr. Brolly marched across the street. "Now see here," he said. "People in this town are perfectly happy with Brolly umbrellas. No one needs silly, narrow umbrellas with long, skinny handles. You will have to go."

"I will not go," said Mr. Bumbershoot.

"This is war," said Mr. Brolly. He got his blunderbuss. He loaded it with gumballs. He went out and waited for Mr. Bumbershoot to come out of his shop.

As soon as Mr. Bumbershoot appeared, Mr. Brolly fired. KABLAM!! "Go away!" he  yelled. "There is only room for one umbrella shop in this town!"

And so begins the desperate struggle between Mr. Brolly and Mr. Bumbershoot, rival umbrella makers in a town that seems too small for the both of them. Hostilities between them escalate, becoming increasingly hilarious and absurd, culminating in a final, battle with a surprise twist.

Here's another bit of the story:

Mr. Brolly went and got a gas balloon. He loaded the basket with bushels of baked beans and pickled beets. Then he got his best umbrella and climbed in. "I will be rid of Bumbershoot once and for all!" he declared.

Up in the air went the balloon carrying Mr. Brolly. It drifted over Mr. Bumbershoot's shop. Mr. Brolly poured the baked beans and pickled beets over the side. Sploosh! Slop! Plop! Beans oozed down the chimney. Beet juice trickled down the windows. Mr. Bumbershoot stuck his head out to see what was going on. Plop! Flop! There were beans on his glasses. There were beets in his hair.

"Ho ho!" laughed Mr. Brolly. "Bumbershoot, you buffoon," he called, "get out of town before it's too late!" He danced about, laughing and shouting, as his balloon sailed away on the wind.